Whew! What a day! I have been running around all day, and after classes, meetings, chats with friends, and spending another wonderful evening with PP Yvonne (and some more delicious Egg Stew!) I am back in my room, recollecting on the day. Today was a really lovely overall, and I am still smiling from the events. One discussion in particular made it special.
I was in a meeting with some members of my class for a group project (Research and its Relevance to Theater Arts, to be exact). I love my group, Martin is an extremely enthusiastic worker, Godson is a dancer and brings an interesting and new perspective (along with coming to a meeting with impeding malaria– hope you feel better!), and Shelter who is an ambitious and intelligent girl who comes everyday to class after a 2-3 hour trek from Cape Coast area. At one point in the meeting, Martin had to take a phone call, and Godson left, leaving just Shelter and I.
Shelter and I began talking about cooking (as you all know, my newest passion is Ghanaian food!), and I jokingly said that I must have gained weight since coming. Shelter smiled at me in a confused way and said, “What? Why does that matter!”
We both laughed a moment and Shelter began to explain to me about weight within the context of Ghanaian women. She told me that women aspire to be curvy (some even going so far as to take appetite enhancers), and that she feels as though many obruni (white women) look sickly. “Where I’m from, being extremely thin is thought of as a deformity, as a sickness– particularly in a village setting! Every time I go to the village, my grandmother makes sure I eat until I am stuffed and then some!” She said how she worries about some of the girls, and that they should eat more. She also said that worrying about eating “too much” is never the problem– but eating too little can even be insulting.
This was when I began telling her about some of the issues within US culture. How some women literally starve themselves to look slender. I even went into detail about some of the implications that go along with anorexia and bulimia (such as loss of menstrual cycle, hair loss, organ failure, etc.) Shelter seemed shocked and saddened.
“You eat, right?” she asked with concern in her eyes. I laughed and acknowledged how much I love to eat. She giggled and told me we would have to cook together soon, and she liked my curves. I agreed, and added she is very pretty as well.
As some of you may or may not know, I struggled with an eating disorder when I was in high school, after being overweight in middle school. The disorder was caused by a number of things (extreme bullying, self depreciation, OCD, a controlling boyfriend) but I am proud to say that I have come a long way since those times. At one point in time, it was difficult for me to discuss my anorexia. Now, however, as both an ambassador and a feminist, I believe it is important to be honest and open if it can potentially build a platform for discussion or understanding.
Today’s conversation with Shelter really opened my eyes to one fantastic aspect of the Ghanaian culture: body positivity. I have seen women of every body type, full of pride and confidence. Further, women and men are very open and complimentary in a way that you rarely see in the US. Instead of a competitive feeling, women will come up to you as say, “Girl! You look sexy!” and mean it. I feel as though my confidence in my body has gone up and up since I have been here.
So my lovely and dear ladies in the States: let’s take a lesson from Ghanaian women: let’s love each other, and ALL our different body types. Maybe give a random girl a compliment if she looks nice, or take a look in the mirror and appreciate something about yourself. Also, if you want another heaping helping of that delicious Nyadowa go for it!
Jessica In Ghana 